|
|
HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
|
| BULLETIN #93 -- MAY 2024 |
|
| Card 1: Held in Harrisburg (Attendance: 1,802) |
|
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly bested Stink Boy in 9 at 7:30 (Flying Dropkick) by 65.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane won over The Greater Cheese Grater at 3:42 (RV is Toast) by 104.
COT: Mammoth Machine outmuscled SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 29:58 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 1.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge outmuscled IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 22:20 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 10 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly bested Dr. Blank in 6 at 4:17 (Crescent Kick) by 108.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Fred Brown in 6 at 0:40 (Hammerlock) by 142.
COT: Jurassic Machine beat CURE: Hammer at 20:35 (Jurassic Jawbuster) by 6.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge pinned SOS/TWGWK: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman at 59:02 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 1. |
|
| Card 2: Held in New Haven (Attendance: 5,897) |
|
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Stink Boy in 1 at 1:40 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated "Clever" Cliff Cleaver at 2:14 (RV is Toast) by 128.
East Coast title: SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR annihilated EDGE: 976-EVIL at 28:30 (Shatter with Reesemart Light Tube) by 1.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge destroyed COT: Chaos Machine at 28:25 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 3.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly bested Tim McCormick in 6 at 2:27 (Crescent Kick) by 95.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 4:18 (Hammerlock) by 111.
COT: Mammoth Machine annihilated IMT/AR15: Flatten the Curve at 28:39 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 5.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge bested CURE: Hammer at 32:57 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 9. |
|
| Card 3: Held in Mentor-on-the-Lake (Attendance: 5,414) |
|
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Stink Man in 4 at 2:43 (Count Out).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly beat Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 4:47 (Hammerlock) by 105.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge defeated SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 28:00 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 4.
SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume won over CURE: Hammer at 29:00 (Smash with Reesemart Dinnerware) by 5.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly defeated Dandy Davis in 6 at 1:47 (Crescent Kick) by 77.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Curt Gold in 6 at 3:39 (Hammerlock) by 83.
Central Plains title: COT: Mammoth Machine destroyed CURE: Hammer at 15:01 (Mammoth Headbutt) by 6.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge beat EDGE: 976-EVIL at 58:52 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 5. |
|
| Card 4: Held in Rome (Attendance: 8,033) |
|
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly won over Bob in 6 at 7:23 (Crescent Kick) by 68.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 1:39 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 112.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge won over SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 28:35 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 5 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar beat Fred Brown in 6 at 0:58 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 134.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly won over Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 3:47 (Crescent Kick) by 100.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:18 (Hammerlock) by 113.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle won over COT: Order Machine at 15:26 (Fly Trap) by 6 (non-title).
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge pinned COT: Mammoth Machine at 53:11 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 3. |
|
| Card 5: Held in Austin (Attendance: 8,025) |
|
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane destroyed Bob in 6 at 3:27 (Hammerlock) by 76.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly won over Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 4:57 (Crescent Kick) by 54.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge won over Fred Brown in 6 at 0:24 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 136 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar destroyed Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 0:52 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 100.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly annihilated COT: Shadow Machine at 28:50 (Bear Hug) by 2.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Dr. Blank in 6 at 3:07 (Hammerlock) by 116.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned CURE: Hammer at 22:10 (Pimp Slap) by 6.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge overpowered COT: Shadow Machine at 45:07 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 7. |
|
| Card 6: Held in Athens (Attendance: 6,260) |
|
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Wally Brick in 6 at 2:55 (Hammerlock) by 90.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane outmuscled Frank's Friend Kyle in 6 at 4:16 (Hammerlock) by 62.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge pinned Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 2:34 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 102 (non-title).
Pacific Northwest title: EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle overpowered SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 27:21 (Fly Trap) by 5.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly beat COT: Order Machine at 27:51 (Bear Hug) by 1 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Tim McCormick in 6 at 2:21 (Hammerlock) by 103.
IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve tied COT: Jurassic Machine* and Mammoth Machine at 10:23 (Double Count Out).
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge outmuscled IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 33:22 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 10. |
|
| Card 7: Held in Rosemont (Attendance: 6,204) |
|
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge decked Martin Dean in 6 at 2:13 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 82 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane pinned Al the Hacksaw at 2:25 (RV is Toast) by 174.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge overpowered EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 28:22 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 2.
SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar outmuscled IMT/AR15: The New Normal at 27:57 (Bonk with Reesemart Skillet) by 4.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly destroyed EDGE: The Bishop in 6 at 18:29 (Crescent Kick) by 8 (non-title).
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Dandy Davis in 6 at 5:31 (Hammerlock) by 85.
League Tag-team titles: IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen* and Flatten the Curve bested EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle* and 976-EVIL at 15:55 (Ching Chong Hausen) by 13 (Guest Referee: Baby Face Morgan).
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge overpowered SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar at 51:58 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 5. |
|
| Card 8: Held in Watts (Attendance: 4,208) |
|
SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar annihilated Martin Dean in 6 at 4:27 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 80.
MiG-21 "Fishbed" over The Apex Predator in 4 at 6:14 (Disqualification: refused to break choke).
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge beat EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 28:34 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 1.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly destroyed Peter Lawler in 6 at 6:52 (Crescent Kick) by 84.
Northeast title: SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly won over IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 27:51 (Bear Hug) by 5.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 2:12 (Hammerlock) by 108.
COT: Jurassic Machine* and Mammoth Machine overpowered EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle* and 976-EVIL at 17:47 (Prehistoric Eye Gouge) by 13 (Guest Referee: Hilarity).
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge outmuscled EDGE: The Bishop in 6 at 40:00 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 10. |
|
| Card 9: Held in Edmonton (Attendance: 2,191) |
|
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly overpowered Martin Dean in 6 at 5:04 (Crescent Kick) by 80.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge bested CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:56 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 3.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge beat COT: Shadow Machine at 21:33 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 7 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly over Jimmy Roth in 2 at 9:03 (Disqualification: tied opponent up).
SOS/TWGWK: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman destroyed Fred Brown in 6 at 0:52 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 134 (non-title).
Great Lakes title: EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:42 (RV is Toast) by 1.
COT: Super Ghost Machine, Jurassic Machine*, and Mammoth Machine outmuscled COT: Shadow Machine, Order Machine*, and Chaos Machine at 27:47 (Doomsday Eye Gouge) by 3.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge pinned COT: Order Machine at 26:42 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 6. |
|
| Card 10: Held in Anniston (Attendance: 8,122) |
|
SOS/TWGWK: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman outmuscled Martin Dean in 6 at 3:02 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 80 (non-title).
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn tied COT: Mammoth Machine at 1:24 (Double Disqualification).
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge pinned CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 21:12 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 6 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly pinned Steve Shields in 6 at 4:59 (Crescent Kick) by 113.
SOS/TWGWK: Siena Savings, Official Spokeswoman won over Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 1:04 (Turnbuckle Smash) by 100 (non-title).
Mid-Atlantic title: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux defeated COT: Shadow Machine at 20:35 (Boston Crab) by 6.
TV Six-man titles: COT: Shadow Machine, Order Machine*, and Chaos Machine beat IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* at 27:22 (Doomsday Device) by 5.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge defeated CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 46:42 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 7. |
|
| Card 11: Held in Cincinnati (Attendance: 4,477) |
|
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Martin Dean in 6 at 6:30 (Hammerlock) by 88.
SOS/TWGWK: Allah Snackbar, Lord of the Snack Bar outmuscled CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 29:37 (Bonk with Reesemart Skillet) by 5.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge defeated CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 17:57 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 7 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly beat Phil Dukes in 6 at 1:32 (Crescent Kick) by 80.
CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson tied COT: Shadow Machine at 5:11 (Double Disqualification).
Flex Lewis over The Apex Predator in 9 at 4:46 (Disqualification: used brass knuckles).
COT: Super Ghost Machine, Jurassic Machine*, and Mammoth Machine won over IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together, The New Normal, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th* at 20:09 (Doomsday Eye Gouge) by 8.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge annihilated CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 17:16 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 6. |
|
| Card 12: Held in Baltimore (Attendance: 4,204) |
|
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly annihilated The Fishy Fisherman in 6 at 4:44 (Crescent Kick) by 59.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers beat SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 27:51 (The Preppy Killer) by 1 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge pinned COT: Super Ghost Machine at 27:57 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 4.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly won over Mike Taylor in 6 at 3:06 (Crescent Kick) by 114.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane annihilated Peter Lawler in 6 at 5:39 (Hammerlock) by 92.
He-Man Most Powerful Man in the Universe defeated Flex Lewis in 12 at 3:26 (Big Splash) by 87.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge bested SOS/TWGWK: Man in Burreeseto Costume at 36:21 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 4. |
|
| Card 13: Held in Malta (Attendance: 7,856) |
|
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over The Fishy Fisherman in 2 at 4:58 (Disqualification: hit ref).
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers annihilated IMT/AR15: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 19:29 (The Preppy Killer) by 11 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge won over COT: Mammoth Machine at 29:20 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 3 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly outmuscled Fred Brown in 6 at 2:38 (Crescent Kick) by 134.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane defeated Jimmy Roth in 6 at 6:04 (Hammerlock) by 79.
EDGE: 976-EVIL defeated COT: Shadow Machine at 28:25 (Evil Calls) by 2.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge beat EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 41:10 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 3. |
|
| Card 14: Held in Tirana (Attendance: 3,571) |
|
CURE: Hammer over Bruce Vanquish in 5 at 4:32 (Count Out).
SOS/AI: The Spaceman annihilated Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" in 9 at 0:25 (Flying Dropkick) by 144.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge annihilated COT: Order Machine at 23:20 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 6 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly pinned Duffy Wolfe in 6 at 0:56 (Crescent Kick) by 103.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane overpowered Steve Shields in 6 at 3:46 (Hammerlock) by 121.
COT: Shadow Machine tied IMT/AR15: We Are In This Together at 9:26 (No Contest).
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge bested EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux at 33:11 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 1. |
|
| Card 15: Held in Kilkenny (Attendance: 3,982) |
|
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly annihilated "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 1:13 (Flying Dropkick) by 131.
SOS/IND: Last Minute Tuesday pinned Jason Voorhees in 11 at 2:02 (Stunner) by 115.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge decked EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 28:52 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 3.
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly outmuscled Curt Gold in 6 at 2:39 (Crescent Kick) by 75.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane over Phil Dukes in 1 at 7:35 (Disqualification: pushed ref).
COT: Shadow Machine destroyed CURE: Hammer at 28:58 (Shadowban) by 2.
Main event: SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge overpowered EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 35:50 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 2. |
|
| Card 16: Held in Dallas (Attendance: 3,957) |
|
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane bested "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 2:00 (Crescent Kick) by 139.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge overpowered SOS/TWGWK: Deathmatch Danielle from HR at 28:55 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 4.
SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge decked EDGE: 976-EVIL at 27:26 (Hit with Reesemart Chair) by 5 (non-title).
SOS/TWGWK: Store Greeter Frank Friendly pinned Charlie Ford in 6 at 2:34 (Crescent Kick) by 105.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane beat Mike Taylor in 6 at 2:15 (Hammerlock) by 122.
EDGE: 976-EVIL defeated IMT/AR15: Elrodhausen at 28:45 (Evil Calls) by 2.
Main event: EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers overpowered SOS/TWGWK: "Reese's Brother" Ronald Rutledge at 35:19 (The Preppy Killer) by 1. |
|
| Battle Royal: Held in Belgrade (Attendance: 6,206) |
|
Mike Adams "The Canada Giant" picked up $1,000 after CURE: Hammer threw him outside the ring.
COT: Mammoth Machine won $1,100 when COT: Shadow Machine flipped him out.
COT: Shadow Machine made $1,200 after he got thrown over the turnbuckle by COT: Chaos Machine.
EDGE: 976-EVIL won $1,300 in imaginary earnings when he was flung out of the ring by EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay snatched $1,400 after CURE: Hammer threw him over the top rope.
COT: Chaos Machine made $1,500 when EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane threw him out.
EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane was given $1,600 in imaginary money when CURE: Hammer threw him out of the ring.
CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson nabbed $1,700 after COT: Order Machine tossed him into his manager at ringside.
EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux was paid a cool $1,800 in imaginary money after getting thrown into the audience by COT: Super Ghost Machine.
CURE: Hammer collected $1,900 when EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle hurled him out of the ring.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle gained $2,000 when CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn threw him out.
EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers was awarded $2,100 when COT: Super Ghost Machine flung him out.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn gained a quick $2,200 when he got flipped out by COT: Order Machine.
COT: Super Ghost Machine grabbed $2,300 after he was catapulted onto the concrete floor by COT: Order Machine.
COT: Jurassic Machine pocketed $2,400 after COT: Order Machine flung him over the turnbuckle.
COT: Order Machine was the winner of the battle royal and its $30,000 prize. |
|