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HIRED ASSASSIN LEAGUE |
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| BULLETIN #118 -- FALL 2025 |
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| Card 1: Held in Algiers (Attendance: 956) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Stink Boy in 9 at 3:34 (Hammerlock) by 74.
COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium decked CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 28:12 (Land of Delusion) by 1.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Steve Shields in 6 at 2:46 (Headbutt) by 126.
COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium won over CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 27:10 (Land of Delusion) by 1.
COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam and Glass City Assassin Havoc* destroyed COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium* and COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 10:37 (Glass City Beatdown) by 16.
Main event: CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn annihilated CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway at 29:21 (DDT) by 10. |
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| Card 2: Held in Echo (Attendance: 654) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay bested Stink Man in 12 at 2:39 (Cobra Clutch) by 119.
Rocky Mountains title: CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn decked COT/MULES: Malcolm "Formerly Known as Twitter" at 29:22 (DDT) by 5.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Phil Dukes in 6 at 4:51 (Headbutt) by 81.
East Coast title: EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium at 29:08 (Pimp Slap) by 3 (Guest Referee: SOS/OMR: Nigerian Nightmare).
COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam and Glass City Assassin Havoc* decked IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones and Flatten the Curve* at 24:13 (Glass City Beatdown) by 10.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine defeated CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 59:28 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 2. |
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| Card 3: Held in Bridgeview (Attendance: 292) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Bob in 6 at 3:17 (Headbutt) by 74.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn drew COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 2:29 (No Contest).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Mike Taylor in 6 at 0:59 (Headbutt) by 124.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre beat COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam at 28:40 (DDT) by 1.
COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam and Glass City Assassin Havoc* pinned COT: Jurassic Machine and Chaos Machine* at 16:22 (Glass City Beatdown) by 10.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine annihilated COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium at 49:08 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 1. |
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| Card 4: Held in St. Louis (Attendance: 506) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay annihilated Wally Brick at 1:16 (Pimp Slap) by 168.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn destroyed CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 28:00 (DDT) by 3 (non-title) (Guest Referee: SOS/SIENAMART: Siena Martin).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Fred Brown in 6 at 0:35 (Headbutt) by 135.
Northeast title: COT: Glass City Assassin Havoc annihilated IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 28:14 (Glass Case of Emotion) by 3 (Guest Referee: Bob).
COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam, Glass City Assassin Havoc, and Shadow Machine* outmuscled Fred Brown, Tim McCormick, and Outlaw Ben Slick* in 6 at 6:37 (Back Elbow Smash) by 86.
Main event: COT: Super Ghost Machine destroyed CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 36:14 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 2. |
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| Card 5: Held in Columbia (Attendance: 380) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered The Fishy Fisherman in 8 at 6:33 (Ankle Lock) by 90.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn drew CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 4:50 (No Contest).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Duffy Wolfe in 2 at 3:42 (Disqualification: tied opponent up).
COT/MULES: "Big Money" Amillion Buggs destroyed CURE: Hammer at 7:37 (Freshman Dreams) by 19.
COT: Glass City Assassin Bedlam, Glass City Assassin Havoc*, and Shadow Machine tied IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal*, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th at 7:05 (Double Count Out).
Main event: COT: Order Machine outmuscled COT: Super Ghost Machine at 32:28 (Order of Magnitude) by 3 (Guest Referee: CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn). |
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| Card 6: Held in Fort Wayne (Attendance: 253) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway annihilated "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 2:43 (Hammerlock) by 139 (non-title).
COT: Super Ghost Machine won over CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 28:45 (Suplex I Learned from the Elrod) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay pinned Curt Gold in 6 at 2:08 (Headbutt) by 83.
EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle beat COT/MULES: Malcolm "Formerly Known as Twitter" at 28:19 (Fly Trap) by 5.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together, The New Normal*, and Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th decked COT: Shadow Machine, Jurassic Machine*, and Mammoth Machine at 17:20 (Point Flow Passport) by 14.
Main event: COT: Order Machine bested IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 39:46 (Order of Magnitude) by 5. |
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| Card 7: Held in Cincinnati (Attendance: 258) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered "Burnout Boy" Bobby Baker in 9 at 1:05 (Hammerlock) by 144.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn bested COT: Mammoth Machine at 27:25 (DDT) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay outmuscled Charlie Ford in 6 at 4:24 (Headbutt) by 105.
Pacific Northwest title: IMT/47: Virtue Signaling Male Karen the 13th bested COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 29:37 (12th Booster) by 2.
Main event: COT: Order Machine pinned COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 42:04 (Order of Magnitude) by 5. |
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| Card 8: Held in New Haven (Attendance: 604) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed The Greater Cheese Grater at 2:11 (Pimp Slap) by 126.
COT: Order Machine defeated CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 27:50 (Order of Magnitude) by 5.
CURE: Hammer beat Charlie Ford in 7 at 0:30 (Flying Dropkick) by 117.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre overpowered COT: Jurassic Machine at 12:10 (DDT) by 14.
Main event: COT: Order Machine overpowered COT/MULES: Malcolm "Formerly Known as Twitter" at 21:34 (Order of Magnitude) by 10. |
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| Card 9: Held in Oakland (Attendance: 629) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay won over Kevin "The Cardshark" Kings in 8 at 0:33 (Ankle Lock) by 101.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay decked CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 28:04 (Pimp Slap) by 4.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Dr. Blank in 6 at 6:06 (Headbutt) by 99.
Great Lakes title: IMT/47: The New Normal beat CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre at 27:54 (Point Flow Passport) by 2.
Main event: COT: Order Machine decked CURE: Hammer at 4:06 (Order of Magnitude) by 26. |
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| Card 10: Held in Pretoria (Attendance: 667) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Frank's Friend Kyle in 1 at 2:54 (Count Out).
EDGE: 976-EVIL pinned CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:41 (Evil Calls) by 1.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay defeated Tim McCormick in 6 at 2:32 (Headbutt) by 98.
Southeast title: EDGE: Martin the Fly Brundle defeated CURE: Hammer at 14:50 (Fly Trap) by 21.
Main event: COT: Order Machine annihilated IMT/47: Flatten the Curve at 14:58 (Order of Magnitude) by 11. |
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| Card 11: Held in Osaka (Attendance: 611) |
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EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Al the Hacksaw in 6 at 4:02 (Headbutt) by 73.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn drew IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 10:44 (Double Disqualification).
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay overpowered Dandy Davis in 6 at 5:19 (Headbutt) by 79.
EDGE: 976-EVIL bested IMT/47: We Are In This Together at 28:38 (Evil Calls) by 1.
Main event: COT: Order Machine overpowered CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva at 18:41 (Order of Magnitude) by 8. |
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| Card 12: Held in London (Attendance: 769) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 6:45 (Count Out).
TV title: IMT/47: Flatten the Curve defeated CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn in 8 at 17:07 (Back Elbow Smash) by 7.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay destroyed Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 6:51 (Headbutt) by 97.
IMT/47: We Are In This Together defeated COT: Chaos Machine at 28:56 (The Cycle of Death) by 4.
Main event: COT: Order Machine bested COT: Mammoth Machine at 34:29 (Order of Magnitude) by 7. |
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| Card 13: Held in Windsor (Attendance: 604) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn overpowered CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 29:03 (DDT) by 4.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers at 4:48 (Count Out).
COT: Order Machine overpowered EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 19:08 (Order of Magnitude) by 7.
COT: Jurassic Machine and Chaos Machine* annihilated Fred Brown and Outlaw Ben Slick* in 6 at 3:10 (Mounted Punches) by 90.
Main event: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux drew COT: Order Machine at 13:48 (Double Count Out). |
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| Card 14: Held in Newark (Attendance: 866) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn beat Outlaw Ben Slick in 6 at 4:20 (Flying Dropkick) by 93 (non-title).
COT: Order Machine won over CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson at 15:53 (Order of Magnitude) by 9.
Central Plains title: EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux won over COT: Super Ghost Machine at 28:51 (DDT) by 3 (Guest Referee: Curt Gold).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones and Flatten the Curve* bested Curt Gold* and Tim McCormick in 6 at 6:28 (Cross-Armbar) by 63.
Main event: COT: Order Machine bested EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay at 48:29 (Order of Magnitude) by 1. |
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| Card 15: Held in Naples (Attendance: 964) |
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CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn beat EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 27:02 (DDT) by 2.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay over Peter Lawler in 1 at 15:48 (Count Out).
COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium drew COT: Shadow Machine at 28:03 (Double Count Out).
IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones and Flatten the Curve* outmuscled COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium* and COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 23:04 (Recommended Mandatory Jab) by 6.
Main event: COT: Order Machine overpowered EDGE: Mr. Diehard John McClane at 24:58 (Order of Magnitude) by 7. |
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| Card 16: Held in Bombay (Attendance: 540) |
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EDGE: Bloodsport Frank Dux decked CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn at 29:26 (DDT) by 5.
EDGE: Andrew Dice Clay beat Jimmy Roth in 6 at 3:28 (Headbutt) by 78.
COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium annihilated IMT/47: Ching Chong Jones at 29:59 (Land of Delusion) by 5.
TV Tag-team titles: COT: Jurassic Machine and Chaos Machine* outmuscled COT: Glass City Assassin Delirium* and COT/MULES: Roosevelt Gunns at 23:15 (Spike Piledriver) by 6.
Main event: COT: Order Machine over EDGE: Robert the Mega Murderer Chambers in 9 at 25:08 (Count Out). |
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| Battle Royal: Held in Wilmington (Attendance: 823) |
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CURE: Hammer snatched $1,000 when CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway threw him out.
CURE: "Under Contract" Quentin Jackson got a cool $1,100 when CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn threw him out.
CURE: "Under Contract" BJ Penn was paid $1,200 after getting thrown onto the announcer's table by COT: Shadow Machine.
COT: Chaos Machine gained $1,300 when COT: Jurassic Machine and COT: Mammoth Machine threw him out.
CURE: "Under Contract" Anderson Silva got $1,400 after being hurled into some fans at ringside by COT: Super Ghost Machine.
CURE: "Under Contract" Georges St-Pierre made $1,500 after COT: Jurassic Machine and CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway threw him onto the announcer's table.
CURE: "Under Contract" Max Holloway gained $1,600 when COT: Super Ghost Machine threw him out.
COT: Shadow Machine collected a quick $1,700 after getting flung outside the ring by COT: Mammoth Machine.
COT: Jurassic Machine was awarded a quick $1,800 after he got catapulted onto the announcer's table by COT: Order Machine.
COT: Mammoth Machine nabbed $1,900 when COT: Order Machine threw him out of the ring.
COT: Super Ghost Machine won $2,000 after COT: Order Machine flung him over the turnbuckle.
COT: Order Machine was the winner of the battle royal and the $30,000 prize. |
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